Welcome back guys :)
The first chapter is written from the ego-perspektive. The narrator (Sam) talks about himself.
You cannot find out in which country the story took place and when, but it's in an english-speaking country. (But ut's not in the US. (page 13 line 26: "...that sounds a bit American to me"))
Sam is almost 16 years old and lives with his mum. His mum and his dad are divorced and they fight. His mum hasn't got much time for him and talks not very often with him about his problems. Sam loves to skate and is good in art and design. He hates physics and maths.
Since a few weeks he knows Alicia and they had already four dates and he's already into her. (page 14 line 10/11) His mum brought him a poster of his idol Tony Hawk, a famous skateboarder, that he hung out in his room. He talks to him every evening about news in his life, or about his mum or Alicia.
Sam is very active in sports, ambitious and talented in art.
To be continued...
This is from both Carla and Lori :)
AntwortenLöschenFirst things first: We love that you added a picture of the cover!
We feel like it's kinda too short, you could use more stylistic freedom to give it a more personal touch, your post now is rather just basic information and simple sentence structure. So yeah, try to be a little more creative and use your freedom ;)
You got the main information and some nice details, overall the content is pretty good but you could have gone more into depth.
We also noticed some language mistakes, you say "doesn't talk very often" instead of "talks not very often"
Since a few weeks he know's Alicia has to be He's known Alicia since a few weeks." Know your tenses ;)
So overall, we liked your post but there's a little room for improvement. Keep going :)